14 Comments
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Lindsay Lee Johnson's avatar

I’m stunned to hear that other people live in basements, too. I’ve always thought I was alone. Shivering in the invisible dark. Thank you, Esme.

Esmé Weijun Wang's avatar

hello to you in your basement from me in mine 💌

Emma Lee Gough's avatar

Thank you for writing this - it really captures what I’ve been feeling for a last few years. I always thought if I just did the right medication and therapy I’d be fixed. Then I finally got the CPSTD diagnosis and all the baggage that comes with it. The realization that there is no turning me into a person who didn’t suffer abuse. It took my hope for a long time but having read essays by survivors like yourself, it has shown me what my basement can look like.

Esmé Weijun Wang's avatar

"fixed" is such a hard thing to reckon with. i think it often does more harm than good.

Emma Lee Gough's avatar

I blame the “it’s like a broken leg” metaphor that was used a lot in when I first started seeking treatment as a teenager. The idea that I was just a broken bone that needed to be reset.

Marjun Blishen's avatar

The pain of life doesn’t go away, was what you wrote, said to me. It was like an aha moment for me. It becomes bearable somehow. We can’t expect common pain to be the stuff of relationships/ friendships. I understand that.

Qid Love 🕉️💕🎸🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Wow. This hit home. Thank you. 🙏 💕

Esmé Weijun Wang's avatar

thank you ❤️ thank you for reading

Callahan Gobble's avatar

Wow! I needed this. Thank you!

Esmé Weijun Wang's avatar

It’s a thing that I think a lot of survivors need a way to talk about. Maybe the basement language can work for that. & thank you so much for reading & sharing.

Woz Flint's avatar

Thank you for putting into words what I've been screaming/whispering from my basement for many years.

Esmé Weijun Wang's avatar

Wow, that means a lot to me—thank you thank you, Woz. ❤️

CN's avatar

This was gorgeous - thank you for writing it!

Esmé Weijun Wang's avatar

thank you even more for reading it ❤️