Thank you for this post. I recently discovered that I have been holding years of rage inside of me so much so that it manifested itself in isolation and illness. I’m still not really sure where it begins and ends but I am getting better at recognising it and allowing myself to feel it when it comes. I grew up scared of anger and its destructive potential. I was taught that being angry is bad. I found it so helpful to hear you talk about rage as something that we all feel and that deserves to be felt. I think we need to learn that anger is a wolf and a wolf is a wild animal that refuses to stay where we put it just because we say so. It is perhaps better to let the wolf be the wolf and embrace the wildness in ourselves than lock it up only for it to come elsewhere. Thank you again. X
Oh my, this feels familiar. At one (prolonged) point my anger and my grief were so caught up that I felt like all I could think were giant intrusive thoughts. That anger is like wolves that circle even when you get them shooed into the woods, there’s still that growl....
I hope you’re able to keep them away, where they belong for a while. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Thanks for your post, Esmè. I've felt rage numerous times since the start of this year, but for reasons other than you mentioned.
I'm angry at myself for living under a dictatorian regime that doesn't care an iota about its people. Yet, despite this rage, i talk myself out of writing plans for the year ahead and persuade myself that i'm happy with how my life's going on.
I don't know what to do with myself. How can i be more courageous to detach myself from limiting beliefs the Iranian regime has dictated to me and numerous other girls like myself? I'd love to know your suggestions for me.
A different context entirely, but I understand where you are coming from with the rage. Every time I think I have plateaued on my disease journey, I lose another ability, and I have to start back at square one. Even when I handle things well, the frustration and anger lurks just beneath the surface.
I hope 2024 brings some measure of comfort to you and your family.
I'm currently walking the knife edge of my own rage at my body for being the broken thing it is. Sending you good wishes and hope for space to rage safely, and safely find calm again amidst the storm.
Rage is a relatively new feeling for me. It came somewhat out of the blue after I became a mother and resurfaces now and again, usually when I'm trying to control something that's out of my hands. We lost our third baby to brain cancer in 2019. During his treatment I was usually too distracted with is 24/7 care to feel anything, but when I had a moment to myself to think about the enormity of it all I experienced these full body extreme waves of rage. I couldn't have kept it in if I tried. Like you said, it has to go somewhere, sometimes it's hard to hold both rage and gratitude at the same time. Sending you peace and comfort in 2024.
I have never in my life been prone to anger. But in the year 2023, cursed be thy name, I found rage right around the corner from despair on many, many days. The fury is harder to bear than the heartbreak most days.
Oh boy, do I know. My husband died of cancer in 2020 and two weeks later - lock down.
Sometimes all you can do is scream. It is necessary.
Yup. I've been writing about the rage years that occurred after the death of each of my brothers. And it's been ... interesting.
And what is is about female anger that we still! in 2023! think we have to stuff it/apologize for it/shouldn't feel it?
Thank you for this post. I recently discovered that I have been holding years of rage inside of me so much so that it manifested itself in isolation and illness. I’m still not really sure where it begins and ends but I am getting better at recognising it and allowing myself to feel it when it comes. I grew up scared of anger and its destructive potential. I was taught that being angry is bad. I found it so helpful to hear you talk about rage as something that we all feel and that deserves to be felt. I think we need to learn that anger is a wolf and a wolf is a wild animal that refuses to stay where we put it just because we say so. It is perhaps better to let the wolf be the wolf and embrace the wildness in ourselves than lock it up only for it to come elsewhere. Thank you again. X
Oh my, this feels familiar. At one (prolonged) point my anger and my grief were so caught up that I felt like all I could think were giant intrusive thoughts. That anger is like wolves that circle even when you get them shooed into the woods, there’s still that growl....
I hope you’re able to keep them away, where they belong for a while. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Thanks for your post, Esmè. I've felt rage numerous times since the start of this year, but for reasons other than you mentioned.
I'm angry at myself for living under a dictatorian regime that doesn't care an iota about its people. Yet, despite this rage, i talk myself out of writing plans for the year ahead and persuade myself that i'm happy with how my life's going on.
I don't know what to do with myself. How can i be more courageous to detach myself from limiting beliefs the Iranian regime has dictated to me and numerous other girls like myself? I'd love to know your suggestions for me.
A different context entirely, but I understand where you are coming from with the rage. Every time I think I have plateaued on my disease journey, I lose another ability, and I have to start back at square one. Even when I handle things well, the frustration and anger lurks just beneath the surface.
I hope 2024 brings some measure of comfort to you and your family.
I'm currently walking the knife edge of my own rage at my body for being the broken thing it is. Sending you good wishes and hope for space to rage safely, and safely find calm again amidst the storm.
Thank you for this share, and as always, your knife sharp honesty. Blessings, blessings. 💗
Rage is a relatively new feeling for me. It came somewhat out of the blue after I became a mother and resurfaces now and again, usually when I'm trying to control something that's out of my hands. We lost our third baby to brain cancer in 2019. During his treatment I was usually too distracted with is 24/7 care to feel anything, but when I had a moment to myself to think about the enormity of it all I experienced these full body extreme waves of rage. I couldn't have kept it in if I tried. Like you said, it has to go somewhere, sometimes it's hard to hold both rage and gratitude at the same time. Sending you peace and comfort in 2024.
I have never in my life been prone to anger. But in the year 2023, cursed be thy name, I found rage right around the corner from despair on many, many days. The fury is harder to bear than the heartbreak most days.