A Letter for My Thoughtful Softies
let's gather 'round and see what we can do
Hello, my friends.
Last night I was at Grace Cathedral, which is a glorious church that I hadn’t been to in a long time, and listened to John Darnielle (aka the Mountain Goats, though he was performing solo that night) perform a riotous set list in the echoing glory of the high-ceilinged church.
He kept referring to the cathedral as a Catholic church, which aligned with his former Catholicism; Grace Cathedral is actually an Episcopalian church, but I don’t know if anyone gently pulled him aside to correct his many Catholic comments. I let my mind drift as he performed—Darnielle has such an extensive oeuvre that even though C and I have been listening to and seeing him perform for over twenty years, there are an extraordinary number of songs that he’s written that I absolutely do not know. I found it moving that he often looked to the audience when he forgot the lyrics to one song or another, and the audience would scream the words back to him.
Right before the show began, someone recognized me in the audience and approached me, thanking me for my work and mentioning that they’d taken a class of mine. I was terribly moved by this, as I always am when someone recognizes me in public—I mentioned that I was surprised that they recognized me despite my mask, but yes, I am recognizable, which is something that I would never have thought of myself when I was younger. Or the last time I went to Grace Cathedral, and went through the indoor labyrinth that led me ‘round and ‘round while I contemplated the holy.
John completed his set, including the encore, with “No Children,” which is arguably his most famous song. Toward the end, he went silent as he marched down the aisle through the pews and raised his arms, encouraging the crowd to finish. And we did:
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
And I hope you blink before I do
I hope I never get sober
And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You'd stay the hell out of my way
I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die
I hope we both die
Immediately after that concert, which meant that I got home at midnight, I was so exhausted that the next day was also wiped out by simple fatigue. I worried that I’d be sick for days. I did assign myself the dubious project of listening to and watching all of the #Scandoval material that I could possibly ingest, for #Scandoval is a world that is so beyond my own that I can swim in its tedious waves, and I did. It has to do with a man named John Sandoval who cheated on his nine-year-long partner, Arianna, with a woman who was one of Arianna’s best friends, named Raquel. I don’t know as many details as many do, but it was a fine distraction.
Last night I had nightmares and I couldn’t stop getting up to use the bathroom every fifteen to thirty minutes, which meant that my PTSD was acting up. I woke up feeling like I hadn’t rested at all, though I somehow gathered myself to write an hourlong talk and to construct a slideshow for that hourlong talk, because I’m going to New York this week, and I need to do a good job; I need to earn my keep. When I think about how lucky I am to do the work that I do, I am overwhelmed. All I can do next is to continue to write my next work. I was astonished to know that Sally Rooney has a new book coming out in September, for example, and I worried that Sally Rooney is going to be far more prolific than I am. Though Sally and I are represented by the same literary agency, we write wildly different books. I wrote her a fan letter a few years ago, which she didn’t respond to; I’m fine with that. I wrote it on pink paper. I have a fantasy that we’ll end up at a literary event together, and I’ll say, “I wrote you a fan letter years ago on pink paper. It was a PDF that your agent passed on.” And she’ll say—I don’t know what she’ll say.
This week we have an exciting announcement: beginning on April 1, we’ll be hosting The Get Your Essay Done LIVE Challenge. It is a writing challenge for The Unexpected Shape Writing Academy members who want extra support from me and the Academy community as we really get going in 2024.
Starting April 1 and running for 8 weeks to May 27, the Get Your Essay Done Challenge has only one goal: to get your essay done—the essay that’s been lingering in the back of your mind for far too long.
We’ll be doing co-working sessions (excellent for body doubling if you have ADHD). There’ll be a dedicated space in the Writing Intensive forums for connection and support, and accountability with Dan.
I’ll be hosting Voxer Office Hours and we’ll be talking about common hurdles in relation to the Writing Intensive modules—and solutions for whatever tricky things you’ll be running into.
After 8 weeks. you’ll have worked through the Writing Intensive modules, you’ll have had my support throughout, and you’ll have your essay done.
(Feeling some pressure? If you don’t have your essay done by May 27, don’t worry. A piano is not going to fall on your head--I promise. But you’ll be muchcloser, and much more educated, about how to get your essay done.)
In short, I want to help you build, or rebuild, your writing habit.
You do not have to write daily to participate. But I’m going to encourage you to at least write weekly, so you can build some consistency over the 8 weeks and really see results at the end. I want you to feel accomplished by the time this challenge is done.
If you’re already a member of The Unexpected Shape Writing Academy, you’re all set! You’re in! We’ll send you more information before April 1.
If you’re not yet a member, join us for $147/month and the Get Your Essay Done LIVE Challenge will be part of your membership. Because if you like my communication style and want to learn from my experience as an award-winning, New York Times bestselling author, join The Unexpected Shape Writing Academy and take the included Writing Intensive courses for $147/month. With eight modules, from pre-writing to writing to publication, plus twelve guest lectures from some of our most esteemed writers working today (Leslie Jamison, Hanif Abdurraqib, Eula Biss, Stephanie Foo, and so forth), I believe that it's truly a steal.
…and there’s a BONUS!
Also: one randomly chosen person who joins the Challenge will get a 1:1 45-minute call with me to talk about whatever writing issues you'd like to address.
(Psssst. We’re not going to be offering the Get Your Essay Done LIVE Challenge for long… so… go, go, go!)
Thank you for being a part of this community. Perhaps… Shapers? Shaplies? We’ll workshop it.
Perhaps just Shapes? 🙃